Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
