So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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