Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
