Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
