So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
