is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize