im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Found the puke drawer
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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