just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
