Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
