and i looked up. we had an audience...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
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Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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