i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
