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• (512): View more from Texas

  I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin

  (509): View more from Washington

  and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (830): View more from Texas

  I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time

  (830): View more from Texas

  well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.

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