Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I want to kish your cheek

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My cheeks are in Michigan

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Oh my lips are kind of stretchy

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  (301): I want to kish your cheek (248): My cheeks are in Michigan (301): Oh my lips are kind of stretchy http://tfl.nu/4fba
  Replies (4) Good night (2160) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Man, ugly runs in her family

  (619): View more from California

  yeah, big time

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  (760): Man, ugly runs in her family (619): yeah, big time http://tfl.nu/1vgn
  Replies (5) Good night (680) Bad night (1835)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?

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  (818): So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God? http://tfl.nu/oozc
  Replies (91) Good night (5185) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with

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  (402): what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with http://tfl.nu/hfaq
  Replies (26) Good night (686) Bad night (2471)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.

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  (703): You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am. http://tfl.nu/rcus
  Replies (11) Good night (3925) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.

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  (647): Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar. http://tfl.nu/rv9o
  Replies (27) Good night (1331) Bad night (9922)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.

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  (267): I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe. http://tfl.nu/k42a
  Replies (5) Good night (2743) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

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  (502): After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza. http://tfl.nu/j0sn
  Replies (5) Good night (3964) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

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  (513): hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it" http://tfl.nu/04ug
  Replies (4) Good night (5625) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.

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  (215): no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus. http://tfl.nu/psky
  Replies (7) Good night (1018) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho

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  (+61): And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho http://tfl.nu/t3gn
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  .,.,you might have to leave

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  (412): Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding. (1-412): .,.,you might have to leave http://tfl.nu/thv0
  Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Who is also still dressed up as a pirate

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  (703): Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor (703): Who is also still dressed up as a pirate http://tfl.nu/yo9o
  Replies (5) Good night (534) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...

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  (801): It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter... http://tfl.nu/zb1t
  Replies (13) Good night (394) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us

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  (847): He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us http://tfl.nu/4d1i
  Replies (3) Good night (252) Bad night (153)

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