Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  somebody snuck up and got me drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): somebody snuck up and got me drunk http://tfl.nu/xe32
  Replies (4) Good night (1643) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning? (770): I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle http://tfl.nu/6kcj
  Replies (32) Good night (3542) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Five things that make you perfect. Go.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Five things that make you perfect. Go. (1-918): The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/ni7m
  Replies (26) Good night (6403) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit. http://tfl.nu/3bxb
  Replies (21) Good night (3809) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina http://tfl.nu/0ynp
  Replies (23) Good night (7311) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,

  (679): View more from Michigan

  I wanted to be a dolphin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it.., (679): I wanted to be a dolphin. http://tfl.nu/th6t
  Replies (10) Good night (5167) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing. http://tfl.nu/4hkr
  Replies (1) Good night (805) Bad night (2376)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic http://tfl.nu/rfl3
  Replies (5) Good night (2564) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  So that wine I told you about is vile...

  (360): View more from Washington

  That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): So that wine I told you about is vile... (360): That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it? (425): Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something. http://tfl.nu/ggqv
  Replies (4) Good night (1156) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen! http://tfl.nu/wf7b
  Replies (1) Good night (991) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay http://tfl.nu/sayw
  Replies (10) Good night (1399) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything? (1-708): Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference. http://tfl.nu/anav
  Replies (14) Good night (1320) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all" http://tfl.nu/dl7h
  Replies (1) Good night (1098) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina? http://tfl.nu/kffk
  Replies (9) Good night (798) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here. http://tfl.nu/4omy
  Replies (1) Good night (383) Bad night (256)

Randomize