I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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