The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize