Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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