Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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