Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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