Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
