just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
