my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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