You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
