you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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