we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
