ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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