this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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