The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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