Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
