doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Someone came in the potted fern
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