I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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