What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
are you so shy because you have an std?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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