gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
