You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
