True but thats because hes a fetus.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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