my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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