things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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