The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
