Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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