remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
