If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
