Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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