she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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