i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
