His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
