I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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