I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
