You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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