You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
