Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
