what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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