wanna go halves on a baby?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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