Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
