I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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