i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
