singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
