i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
