Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize