You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
