Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
