I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
