By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
