Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
