I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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