I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
