my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
