nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
