I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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