I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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