Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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