dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
