But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize