its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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