I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize