Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
