Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
